Category Archives: Life

Call of My Wild Soul

Sometimes, when you least expect it, and think it can’t possibly happen this BIG, this WAY, ever again – our Hearts are Cracked Wide Open.

God has been this way for me for many years now, and I am pretty sure, I will never get used to or expect the expansive goodness that comes from our Creator.

For me, my filter is Jesus. And no, I am not saying He must be yours. I simply ache to share my experience.

This last week I was at Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, New Mexico for an art retreat titled: Call of the Wild Soul. It was incredible.

First and foremost, I admit, I cry every time I see the Rocky Mountains. I am a Midwesterner whose heart and soul lives in the mountain forests and streams. My husband loves the Caribbean, so we have compromised and I also love the island of Captiva. But, I HEAR GOD in the mountains. And I hear the whisper of creation through the mountains, valley, cedars, water and rocks of this rugged land.

Call of the Wild Soul is an art retreat. So you think: artists making or teaching art. Right? But this was So Much More.

First, Ghost Ranch has a rich and creative history. It is where Georgia O’Keeffe sequestered herself and painted many of her famous paintings. It is a land rich with a checkered past of artists, outlaws, natives, entrepreneurs and religious icons. Second, it is a thin place. Ghost Ranch and its 21,000 acres are one of those places where heaven and earth intermingle. You simply cannot walk on its land and not feel a connection to something larger than yourself. There is even a labyrinth set up for whatever religious practice you prefer. Currently the Ranch is owned by the Presbyterian Church, and there are many beautiful and stunning places to worship.

Next, imagine a place where visual artists, Bluegrass artists, bird watchers, travelers, cowboys and truth seekers all meet up to experience what the wildness of the land has to offer. Pure serendipity happens. All meld together. It Is Magical.

While I was at this amazing retreat I experienced new art technique, new ways to connect to nature, camaraderie with an amazing sisterhood, and brotherhood, and at one-ness with the land and nature. My cup is full and overflowing!

At the same time all this was happening I did some growing up. As much as I loved all the classes and teachers, I was able to follow my own compass. When a time came to follow my own heart and joy versus curriculum, I chose me. This was a huge and transformative experience for me. As much as I would like to say I am no longer a people pleaser, I still like to go with the flow to not rock the boat or hurt people’s feelings. I was presented with the opportunity to conform to a class that wasn’t resonating with me. I chose not to attend the second day and instead attend to the joy of following my heart. And I Did. It was like breaking free from a self imposed cage!

During this same time period, I opened to a different way of knowing and experiencing creation. It was world changing for me. I have always been drawn to nature and animals AND almost felt guilty or persecuted for my love of the same. Here, at Call of the Wild Soul, I was released to be a complete lover of nature, animals and ALL creation. It was Soul Affirming. This happened because of the organizer, Erin Faith Allen; the setting, Ghost Ranch and the class Environmental Self Portraiture led by Melody Ross and Pixie Lighthorse.

Gratitude and abundant thanks to all who made this possible.

Showing Up and Sharing

I recently have had the honor of being asked to participate in a  project sharing stories of ‘FamilyPreneurs.’ I know it’s not a real word…YET! I want to share here. Following is our short BIO for the project:

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Our story is a Faith story. Jeff and I will celebrate 27 years of marriage this year, by the grace of God. Our family includes three wonderful sons, two daughters-in-love and a very precious grand baby. We also own and partner in four companies that employ approximately 400 people.

Entrepreneurship has afforded our family more benefits than a simple biography could encapsulate. But I’ll try: Income, outrageous ability to be generous, time and education flexibility, travel, homes, cars, etc… It has also cost us: time, flexibility, relationships, travel, homes, cars etc… And it almost cost us our marriage.

Jeff and I were not raised in homes that followed Jesus, so we truly didn’t know there was a better way to do life, relationships and business. We were honest, hardworking, struggling, hard people. We were trying to do everything ‘right’ and the way we were ‘taught.’ You know – work our asses off, educate our children in a traditional setting with emphasis on performance and grades, make everything on the outside ‘look perfect.’ On the inside we were dying. Our marriage was in shambles. I was clinically depressed while on depression medication. Our children had diagnosis of ADHD, dyslexia and ADD. We survived embezzlement – just barely – and had deep mistrust issues with everyone. What a ride!

Discovering and surrendering to a relationship with our Creator changed everything. I started contemplating and seeking Jesus during a two year stint of therapy. Don’t get me wrong, it was (and still is) a process! Jesus made us realize we are never alone, we always have a helper and we might want to step out of some of our old ways of thinking.

Just some of the benefits: no more depression or depression meds, the best marriage in the world – we have led countless marriage groups, the options of homeschool and alternative education opportunities, financial investment in our children’s businesses as opposed to college education, a family that isn’t perfect but IS for each other, businesses that grew during the economic downturn of 2008+, new opportunities daily, and for me the courage to pursue my love of art and writing. Truly we are blessed beyond measure and live a life of unspeakable joy. The hardships no longer take us out, they make us stronger.

Saying Goodbye to 2015

This has been a great year. A wonderful year. A hard year. A year full of change. Isn’t every year just like this? Some more marked by joy than sadness. And some more marked by loss than by love. The constant is the ever moving and happening change around us. Why is it that this change always seems to surprise? To knock me off kilter? To shake me? Maybe it is supposed to.

This year I gained a daughter, became a grandmother and lost my dad. We purchased a second home, a new business, a new car. A friend passed away. We became empty nesters. I had both writing and art published, sold or under contract to be. I took the steps to open a new studio in 2016. We changed A LOT in our businesses. I continue to look forward.

I need to honor my God, my year and myself – by taking a moment to reflect on this year.

What if everything stayed the same? How would we become ourselves? How would we continue?

He who sits on the throne says, “I make ALL things new.”

I think this includes me. He renews me, my mind, my outlook  and my life. Probably you and yours too. I think part of the point is learning to deal with this continual newness. This change.

I am choosing to embrace change. I would love to tell you how gracefully and beautifully I have done this. However, that would be a lie. It’s been incredibly messy, hard, unscheduled and unplanned and simply wonderful. What God has worked out for good (through the hardness and awkwardness) bowls me over!

This is the time of year I choose thankfulness for the blessings of the year, forgiveness for my shortcomings (or complete failures), grace for my mistakes, hope for the future and mercy in each moment. I thank God for all He has done and is continuing to do in me and my family. I thank Jesus for being with me through it all.

I also seek God for a word or theme for my next year. For 2016 I have heard: Be dazzled.

I can’t tell you how this warms my soul! I have been praying for a pure heart. That God would keep wonder alive and fresh for me daily. That Jesus would teach me, guide me, lead me deeper into Him everyday.

And I encourage YOU. Take a moment. Look at the highs and lows of your year. Thank God in all your circumstance. Share your gratitude. Say your goodbyes. Give forgiveness. Welcome the New Year. Ask for a word or theme for 2016 AND embrace it! Stay present. Be intentional. And love one another.

 

 

 

 

 

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Live Better Stories

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Okay, this advice came on the packing paper for a new pair of shoes. And I couldn’t resist adding it to my current art project!

This year I am choosing to live a better story!

After all, one of the best parts of being human is our ability to choose. A better story for me might be stepping more into the abundant life that is always available.

My friend, Jesus, might say, “Life to the full.”

Yes. That’s part of my better story!

I want MORE for Christmas!

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This year I have been thinking a lot about Christmas.

What it means. Why we do what we do (or don’t do). What traditions we follow. How we celebrate. Who we celebrate with.

Even the word: Christmas.

I was driving by a sign the other day and mentally broke the word ‘Christmas’ down.

“Christ” – as in Jesus.

“Mas” – the Spanish word for ‘but’ or with an accent mark above the ‘a’, meaning ‘more.’

 But, Jesus

 Jesus – More

I follow many traditions of man:

Family made.

Created by Western Christianity.

Commercially made.

Not necessarily in that order.

The irony of the truth, that God, in the form of a baby, came to us in a barn (not a church building, or a temple, or a mansion, or a government building or an inn or even a simple home) still boggles my mind.

I ask, “Why?”

Could it be so that one group could not lay claim to the Messiah?

As humans we like to think we know the right way. That our people group, sub culture, culture, religion, like-minded friends, etc… know The way. We can be so small minded.

This year as I give to the poor, share with the less fortunate, buy gifts for friends and family, bake cookies, wrap presents, read the original Christmas story, decorate a Christmas tree, sing carols, enjoy Christmas lights, visit churches  and wear red and green, I can’t help but think there is more. I don’t think these activities are wrong. But there is more.

Shouldn’t everyday be Christmas?

Truly in our hearts and lives, Jesus came that we might have LIFE and Abundant Life – everyday.

ALL the World – not just one sub culture. I am discovering, daily, what that might mean and look like.

Hope Filled, Grace Filled, Joy-Filled, Mercy Filled, Generous, Loving, Overflowing to the whole world… Not perfect, just Life Bringing…

My prayer this year: More Jesus. More of You. Everyday. For everyone.

I Want More!

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Today I have started my “More God” challenge. Last week I purchased an Invisible Clock (timer, stop watch, alarm gadget) that clips onto my clothes. I have set the timer to countdown fifteen minutes, vibrate and then repeat. My action? To praise, thank and be mindful of God each time the timer vibrates.

Why am I doing this? Because I want MORE!

More intimacy with Jesus.

More walking with Father God.

More Holy Spirit in my daily life.

Am I experiencing a particular challenge or obstacle in my daily life? No.

I am not sick, depressed or freaked out in any specific way.

I simply want MORE. OF. HIM.

I’ve heard the teaching that when things are going well we tend to forget about God. I personally don’t buy into that train of thought. Sure, it can happen. But let’s not teach people that it is normal to forget about God during any circumstance (good or bad). I live a life of thanking HIM. My biggest prayer is always, ‘Thank you…”

I wasn’t always that way. I think I would call myself a believer of God my whole life. But I definitely wasn’t a follower until I was 35. Becoming a follower or disciple of Jesus meant getting to know God, who HE is and what HE says. And surrendering the lordship of my life to Jesus and HIS ways. Wow! What a journey I’ve been on AND am on! It hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been good.

As I’ve grown to know God more I realize how much I don’t know. Daily. And how much more of HIM I want and need. Daily.

I find myself going through my day thinking of HIM regularly – but always? Intentionally, mindfully seeking HIM in everything? Truthfully, no.

HE has more thoughts of me than there are grains of sand (Psalm 139:18). I could return the favor at least every 15 minutes – can’t I?

I desire to:

  • Seek HIM with ALL of my heart (Psalm 119:10).
  •  To soul seek after HIM like the deer pants for streams of water (Psalm 42:1).
  •  For my soul to cling to HIM (Psalm 63:8)

Jesus clearly stated what the greatest commandment is:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:36-39).

I desire to love God better and MORE.

What exactly does ALL my heart, ALL my soul and ALL my mind look like in this endeavor?

I can’t take credit for the ‘invisible clock – 15 minute – praise Jesus‘ idea. I actually heard it at a women’s conference as a help to someone fighting a disease or illness. The challenge was to do this for two weeks and see what happens. Knowing what I do know about Jesus, I would expect nothing short of miraculous!

That is where I am at today – expecting nothing short of miraculous!

 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 5:3).

I’m not sure what I always believed about this verse. But I have come to believe that I am poor in spirit. Let me explain. The word poor is used many ways, but my favorite definition is: never having enough. With this definition a person of great wealth can still be poor. Someone well below the financial poverty level can be rich. Poor and rich certainly can pertain to finances, but by no means stop there.

I am believing that my spirit is poor in that I simply don’t have enough Holy Trinity in my life. I don’t know that I ever will – in this lifetime.

I want MORE.

I am intentionally seeking MORE.

I have committed to a 12 day journey. Starting this morning. I will keep you updated.

PS. Already, even typing this, I have been brought out of myself to Praise the one who made me. Thank you Jesus!

Does Man Need To Forgive God?

Warning: this blog post might offend you.

I am okay with that.

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Lately I’ve heard a number of people say that they have forgiven God, need to forgive God or regularly forgive God so as not to carry offense.

I don’t understand this.

I don’t think it’s even Biblical.

Yet it is through the Christian ‘church’ communities or inner healing ministries that I frequently hear this claim. Or hear someone asking others if they have or need to forgive God.

I challenge this.

Of the roughly 130 times forgive, forgiveness, forgave, forgives or forgiving are mentioned in the Bible guess how many refer to forgiving God?

Zero. Yep that’s right. ZERO.

The Word tells us that He (the LORD) has forgiven us, forgives us and forgave us. That He is forgiving. The Word tells us to forgive and we will be forgiven, to forgive everyone that sins against us, to forgive as the LORD has forgiven us.

So where has this come from? This need to forgive God?

Pop psychology? Entitlement? Wrong teaching? The enemy? Victim mentalities? Poverty Mindsets? Ignorance? Innocence? Misguided view of God the Father?

When we have a need to forgive anyone – anything, can we agree it is because we feel wronged in some way or form?

I don’t argue that forgiveness is for us. It frees us! When we no longer carry offense our hearts have so much more capacity for love!

Honestly, sometimes we are truly wronged by others. People kill people. People hurt feelings, say mean things, abuse others, hurt themselves, leave us, don’t agree with us, try to control us…you know because you are human. It’s happened to all of us. And we have all caused hurt.

John 10:10 is one of my favorite verses. It is Jesus talking in the midst of Pharisees throwing a healed blind man out of the Synagogue. Jesus tells a story about a good shepherd, his sheep, a watchman, a gate, robbers and thieves (Matthew 10:01-10:21).

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10).

I usually hear these two parts of this sentence taught out of context and often without one or the other part. Either a teaching on abundant life or spiritual warfare.

Jesus made these statements in ONE sentence. To teach one without the other is irresponsible.

Jesus gives us this sentence so we can look at what is happening in a situation, discern whether it is life giving or not and KNOW where it originated from.  Is what is happening a reflection of full life – abundant life? Then it is from Jesus. OR is something being stolen (not just ‘stuff’ but also joy, hope, life), is death happening or is destruction at hand? Then it is from the enemy.

Why do we blame God when things go wrong, when disasters happen, when people die? When people don’t do what we want them to? When things don’t go our way?

We have an enemy. Yes, Jesus defeated the enemy – but we are on that same journey and have the same opportunity (in fact responsibility) to defeat the enemy. Daily we get to choose life or death.

We cannot overlook ourselves in this equation of forgiveness. It is not always other people or the enemy that have wronged us. Sometimes it’s ourselves. Do we place wrong expectations on other people? Do we believe that we deserve certain things, responses or actions from others because of who we are or what we have done?

When we need to forgive someone we have looked at three possible origins: other people, the enemy and ourselves.

To wrap this up:

The Bible makes some strong and amazing claims about who God is. His characteristics include: Divine, Incomprehensible, Sovereign, Omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent, Holy, Infinite, Eternal, Goodness, Grace, Mercy, Love, Just, Faithful and Wise (obviously this is not a complete list).

God is light. In HIM there is NO darkness AT ALL.

Seriously? You believe the God of the Universe, Creator of Everything, Manifest Holy Goodness, Father of Light, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, Lover of your Soul, who died on a cross because HE LOVES you that much –

Owes you?

HE wronged you? HE didn’t give you your way? HE didn’t give you what you wanted?

You forgive HIM?

Really?

I’m going to step into firing range here and suggest YOU ask HIM for forgiveness for blaming HIM. Something like this:

Papa, please forgive me for thinking that I should forgive you. Forgive me for holding you responsible for my expectations, for placing blame on you. Father God – show me the truth, give me spiritual eyes to see what is going on here. Teach me about true forgiveness. Reveal to me any areas you are working on in me or that I need to think differently about. Help me move past needing to know why something happened or happens. Help me love you better. I give you permission and access to heal my broken places. Jesus cover me again with your loving kindness. I love you. Amen.

HE is so good. HE can’t wait to meet you here, wrap you in HIS loving arms and walk this out with you: HIS beloved son or daughter.

New Years Eve with Post Its!

DSC00699It’s New Year’s Day 2013.

I am standing in my home hallway. The presence of God is here – thick.

I am tearful, joyful, thankful, heart light, heart broken and so filled up!

You see, last night we had a different kind of New Year’s Eve Party.

We invited friends and family to share what God has done in their lives on post it notes. These notes hang in my hallway, a testimony of our Loving and Good God!

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Marriages Restored.

Families Celebrated.

Cancer has been healed.

Nature Extolled.

Relationships Renewed.

Hopes fulfilled.

Healthy Lives Happening.

Loved Ones in Heaven.

Simple Pleasures Rejoiced.

Hearts Mended.

Provision Made.

Praise & More Praise to our Creator

Hope Filled Expectations for 2013

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I wish you could have been here! I wish you could be here now!

I don’t know if I’ll ever take the post it notes down – they just may be here the next time you come over!

Celebrating Jesus with loved ones, praying to our Papa God and feeling the Holy Spirit move through our home is an incredible gift!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. “His love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:1)

We LOVE you LORD!

May your New Year be filled with the goodness and LOVE of God!

Blessings and Much Love From My Family to Yours!

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Do It @ Home on ThanksGiving!

It’s that time of year again.

You know the time! The four letter word ‘busy’ is how everyone is, when you ask how they are.

The mall Christmas decorations go up as soon as the trick or treaters go home. Today is officially 6 weeks until Christmas Morning. That would be 41 shopping days until little Johnny finds out if he can keep up with the Joneses – or not. Thanksgiving gets sandwiched between Halloween and Black Friday, shopping lists are made, dream holidays planned, credit cards get worn out and we step into the highest suicide rate of the year. Or not.

We actually have a choice in this.

Are we powerless victims to advertising? Or are we powerful believers in a redeeming, hope filled season? One where Jesus reigns?

Okay, honestly, I am mostly the powerful believer in a redeeming, hope filled, Jesus season with occasional tendencies toward powerless advertisement victim…Don’t judge me!

What are our options this year? How can we remain Christ centered? I could give you some lists (maybe next week).

How about one thing?

Is there one thing I could do to slow down, be thankful, remember who I am in Christ, stay focused on Jesus?

Yes. There. Is.

Communion.

Celebrate the Lord’s Supper at home. Start with Thanksgiving!

Recently, as I have been reading my bible, I have been hit with such a huge realization. Jesus didn’t go to ‘church.’ He didn’t ever tell people to go to ‘church.’ He didn’t have a ‘church’ building campaign. He didn’t tell us to build a ‘church.’ The word translated into ‘church’ in our bibles was the word ekklesia and it means ‘called out ones.’ It refers to people not buildings.

I am for the the local ‘church’ buildings – they provide an amazing service. But I also believe we should not depend on the local church to ‘do’ our walk with Jesus for us. I love sharing communion with other believers in a church service. I think it is a holy moment. It’s even better in your own home!

Jesus didn’t take communion in a ‘church’ building. Or a synagogue. Or a temple. He broke bread, in a home, with his twelve friends (11 if you don’t count Judas a friend). These are the guys He did life with.

This famous ‘Last Supper’ bread breaking was during the Passover meal. This  celebration was and is in remembrance of God’s deliverance of Israel. Jesus and the disciples were in someone’s home. In a guest room set up for this feast. For almost four hundred years after Christ’s resurrection, believers met in homes and shared communion in their own homes. (Mark 14:12-26, Matthew 26:17-30, Luke 22:7-23)

Some of my personal thoughts:

I think Jesus loved this! He broke bread and gave thanks as the risen Christ with the guys he met on the road to Emmaus! He loved being with people, enjoyed eating with them, feeding them (sometimes 5000 at a time)!

When I take Jesus with me when I am not in a ‘church’ building and place Him at the helm of my every day life – heaven smiles.

If we take communion at home in a biblical model (1 Corinthians 11:23-25):

1. We examine or test ourselves to see where our heart is at. What does this look like? I usually do this in a two step process:

(a)   Do I need to forgive anyone? Close your eyes and ask God. Did anyone come to mind? If so – forgive the person – out loud (whether you feel like it or not doesn’t matter – just do it). Release them from your expectations and ask God to bless them. 

(b)   Am I believing any lies? Close your eyes and ask God. Did you hear a lie you are believing? If so – ask God to forgive you for believing the lie and ask Him what the truth is.

2. We give thanks. Whatever this looks like for you. What are you thankful for?

3. We break the bread. Jesus did this and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” As you take a bite of bread remember what Jesus has done, who He is, how much He loves you.

4. We take the cup. Jesus said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this,  whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” Drink from the cup (or a cup) and remember Jesus, consider the wonder of the new covenant – us, no longer separated from our Heavenly daddy!

It’s really that simple. And that beautiful. And that holy. In your own home. With your own family and or friends. Do it when you gather as a group or family in  remembrance and honor of our Lord Jesus. Do it at home! Often.

Jesus never intended communion to be reserved for a ‘church building’ or ‘church setting.’ Heck, there weren’t any when he walked the planet.

Jesus wants to walk with, commune with, love and laugh with, guide, counsel, protect and bless you 24/7! Invite Him to dinner! (Revelation 3:20)

We set a place for Him at our home. I believe He is with us and will show up on my doorstep for dinner!

Art and Soul!

A space of my own has been a dream for my whole life. Not just any space, but a peaceful, joyful, beautiful, feminine, creative and holy space! Maybe you can relate?

A part of me realizes that this is my inner desire for Heaven – an ache that is ever present. That niggling feeling that says, “There is more.” Sometimes this feeling is more pronounced. Other times it is just a whisper in my heart and soul. Nonetheless it is always there, waiting for me.

This art space is part of my solution to the way Jesus taught us to pray: On Earth as it is in Heaven…

Through the years I have carved out corners, closets, cubbies, tables, rooms, decks, porches, lawns and patios as a private retreat space. As an art space. As a breathing space. As a quiet space to meet with God.

This year, thanks largely to my husband, I have designed – prayed over – and am now using “The Upper Room.” A space of my own!

Of course it is an evolving space – just as I am evolving – ever growing – in my walk with Jesus and my creative endeavors.

So – If you haven’t seen me lately…I’m hanging out in the Upper Room with Jesus!

Soon to follow: More photos and Upper Room Creations!

Thanks for letting me share! Be blessed!