Tag Archives: Jesus

Surrender (#7 Wisdom along the Way)

 

 

Surrender.

Do you balk at this word like I do?

Does it sound like defeat?

I didn’t pick this word to be my word of the year for 2019. I picked the words: Express YOUrself. Doesn’t that sound empowering? Trendy? Fun? And about time? Yes.

By the second week of January I knew that ‘Surrender‘ would be my year theme. Things were happening whether I liked them or not. I had no control over these externals – it was simply life happening, unfolding in front of me. Did I like this? No. I actually nicknamed it: my just fu** it year. My expectations flew out the window and I settled in for what would come. I probably pouted some ( I mean really, is it ever going to be my turn – What about me – etc…???).

Then, like the serendipity of the Pied Piper, ‘surrender‘ messages invited me into a merry little dance. My choice, would I dance? Or would I fight the flow?

I recalled the words of Jesus, “For if you want to save your own life, you will lose it; but if you lose your life for me and for the gospel, you will save it.” (Mark 8:35)  aka Surrender

I turned on a Tony Robbins podcast. He was interviewing Michael Singer, author of The Untethered Soul. This book has sat on my to read list for over a year. The theme is surrender.

I read Richard Rohr’s daily meditation. January 12 was titled Awe and Surrender. This quote: “The spiritual journey is a constant interplay between moments of awe followed by a process of surrender to that moment.”

Years ago I read a book called Surrender to Motherhood. It helped me transition from childless to mother. I am eternally thankful.

Really – what do I truly have control over anyway? My own choices. What I do. What I say. How I react. What I think. How I feel. How I respond. What I choose. Who I am. Who I want to be. How I love.

I am completely seeing a theme here. My life is at this beautiful place that requires both my surrender AND my participation to Be Here Now.

Slowly, the goodness and familiarity of living life without all my expectations and judgements is seeping back in. Sigh.

A sacred space is opening back up deep inside me. I am breathing in life. I am here.

This opening isn’t necessarily about anything I expect to receive or come to me. It is more about allowing goodness to flow through me. It is internal and eternal instead of external.

I AM now JOYOUSLY anticipating each day of my SuRrendEr journey.

I AM SURRENDERING.

It is good.

Sorrow and Joy (Wisdom along the Way)

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The deep clenching painful chest emptiness that sneaks up and invites tears. A physical pain that feels like it could swallow me whole. I don’t know where this comes from or when it will appear. I just know it will.

Yet the freedom of allowing the pain surprisingly leads to release. As I embrace the ache and invite the sting of tears, I am lead out of the abyss.

This grief has been with me, maybe always. It is a deep and soulful cry for all that has been lost and all that is yet to be.

I don’t think this cavernous void will be filled in my lifetime.

My soul seeks heaven in the midst of this beautiful, messy, imperfect life.

By believing in the miraculous, wonder-full and joy-filled now and cradling the inexplicable heartache that seems to always linger beneath the surface, I am whole and present.

The peace, joy and knowing that there is more, a deeper truer story that I walk in, is my walk with Jesus.

Gesso + Jesus

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Let me tell you about gesso. First it is pronounced, “jess-o.” It took me a couple adult years doing art to realize this proper pronunciation, marking me a novice in the art field. I am okay with that, because I have embraced being a novice (most of the time).

Gesso is a base coat or primer for many art substrates, including canvas, wood or paper. Gesso changes how art medium interacts with the substrate. It can seal a surface, make a material more absorbent or give it more, “tooth.” Gesso can also be used to cover mistakes and start over.

I love gesso. It reminds me of Jesus.

I really enjoy working with canvas, board or paper primed with gesso. It allows me certain assumptions. I know the next layer of paint or graphite or pastel will react a certain way. I also know my canvas will be easier to work with.

People are like that. Myself included. I am WAY easier to work with, with Jesus. I wont go into a long story here, or doctrine or theology. What I will say is this: My life before following Jesus was completely different than my life is now. I live wrapped in the security blanket of God Love that marks even my worst days with a spark of joy and peace.

Back to gesso… It can also cover an art mistake like nothing else! Wonky eye? Gesso (see photo). Missed perspective? Gesso. Out of proportion body? Gesso. You get the idea. Not only does gesso cover the mistake, it gives you a brand new base to start over from.

I know! Just like Jesus!

Walking with Jesus has given me a clean canvas to create on, daily. I have embraced the Jesus gesso of being forgiven and set free (from addiction, depression, shame, anger, hopelessness). Just like in art, and with gesso, I continue to work through each day. Neither Jesus or gesso are a magic wand. But they are pretty darn close! Jesus truly can take all our mistakes and make beautiful art from them.

As I am growing, journeying, as a human and an artist – I see life’s lessons mirrored in art. I know my art can always improve with the help of gesso. And my life continues to expand with a Jesus walk.

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Live Better Stories

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Okay, this advice came on the packing paper for a new pair of shoes. And I couldn’t resist adding it to my current art project!

This year I am choosing to live a better story!

After all, one of the best parts of being human is our ability to choose. A better story for me might be stepping more into the abundant life that is always available.

My friend, Jesus, might say, “Life to the full.”

Yes. That’s part of my better story!

I want MORE for Christmas!

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This year I have been thinking a lot about Christmas.

What it means. Why we do what we do (or don’t do). What traditions we follow. How we celebrate. Who we celebrate with.

Even the word: Christmas.

I was driving by a sign the other day and mentally broke the word ‘Christmas’ down.

“Christ” – as in Jesus.

“Mas” – the Spanish word for ‘but’ or with an accent mark above the ‘a’, meaning ‘more.’

 But, Jesus

 Jesus – More

I follow many traditions of man:

Family made.

Created by Western Christianity.

Commercially made.

Not necessarily in that order.

The irony of the truth, that God, in the form of a baby, came to us in a barn (not a church building, or a temple, or a mansion, or a government building or an inn or even a simple home) still boggles my mind.

I ask, “Why?”

Could it be so that one group could not lay claim to the Messiah?

As humans we like to think we know the right way. That our people group, sub culture, culture, religion, like-minded friends, etc… know The way. We can be so small minded.

This year as I give to the poor, share with the less fortunate, buy gifts for friends and family, bake cookies, wrap presents, read the original Christmas story, decorate a Christmas tree, sing carols, enjoy Christmas lights, visit churches  and wear red and green, I can’t help but think there is more. I don’t think these activities are wrong. But there is more.

Shouldn’t everyday be Christmas?

Truly in our hearts and lives, Jesus came that we might have LIFE and Abundant Life – everyday.

ALL the World – not just one sub culture. I am discovering, daily, what that might mean and look like.

Hope Filled, Grace Filled, Joy-Filled, Mercy Filled, Generous, Loving, Overflowing to the whole world… Not perfect, just Life Bringing…

My prayer this year: More Jesus. More of You. Everyday. For everyone.

I Want More!

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Today I have started my “More God” challenge. Last week I purchased an Invisible Clock (timer, stop watch, alarm gadget) that clips onto my clothes. I have set the timer to countdown fifteen minutes, vibrate and then repeat. My action? To praise, thank and be mindful of God each time the timer vibrates.

Why am I doing this? Because I want MORE!

More intimacy with Jesus.

More walking with Father God.

More Holy Spirit in my daily life.

Am I experiencing a particular challenge or obstacle in my daily life? No.

I am not sick, depressed or freaked out in any specific way.

I simply want MORE. OF. HIM.

I’ve heard the teaching that when things are going well we tend to forget about God. I personally don’t buy into that train of thought. Sure, it can happen. But let’s not teach people that it is normal to forget about God during any circumstance (good or bad). I live a life of thanking HIM. My biggest prayer is always, ‘Thank you…”

I wasn’t always that way. I think I would call myself a believer of God my whole life. But I definitely wasn’t a follower until I was 35. Becoming a follower or disciple of Jesus meant getting to know God, who HE is and what HE says. And surrendering the lordship of my life to Jesus and HIS ways. Wow! What a journey I’ve been on AND am on! It hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been good.

As I’ve grown to know God more I realize how much I don’t know. Daily. And how much more of HIM I want and need. Daily.

I find myself going through my day thinking of HIM regularly – but always? Intentionally, mindfully seeking HIM in everything? Truthfully, no.

HE has more thoughts of me than there are grains of sand (Psalm 139:18). I could return the favor at least every 15 minutes – can’t I?

I desire to:

  • Seek HIM with ALL of my heart (Psalm 119:10).
  •  To soul seek after HIM like the deer pants for streams of water (Psalm 42:1).
  •  For my soul to cling to HIM (Psalm 63:8)

Jesus clearly stated what the greatest commandment is:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:36-39).

I desire to love God better and MORE.

What exactly does ALL my heart, ALL my soul and ALL my mind look like in this endeavor?

I can’t take credit for the ‘invisible clock – 15 minute – praise Jesus‘ idea. I actually heard it at a women’s conference as a help to someone fighting a disease or illness. The challenge was to do this for two weeks and see what happens. Knowing what I do know about Jesus, I would expect nothing short of miraculous!

That is where I am at today – expecting nothing short of miraculous!

 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 5:3).

I’m not sure what I always believed about this verse. But I have come to believe that I am poor in spirit. Let me explain. The word poor is used many ways, but my favorite definition is: never having enough. With this definition a person of great wealth can still be poor. Someone well below the financial poverty level can be rich. Poor and rich certainly can pertain to finances, but by no means stop there.

I am believing that my spirit is poor in that I simply don’t have enough Holy Trinity in my life. I don’t know that I ever will – in this lifetime.

I want MORE.

I am intentionally seeking MORE.

I have committed to a 12 day journey. Starting this morning. I will keep you updated.

PS. Already, even typing this, I have been brought out of myself to Praise the one who made me. Thank you Jesus!

Who Do You Say I Am?

Morning Glory

He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the son of the living God. And Jesus answered him, Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:15-18)

Who do you say I am?

What  a big and loaded question!

For many years I assumed that the whole point of these couple verses was that Peter proclaimed Jesus as The Christ, the Messiah, whom the people had been waiting for.

And that is a major point.

Who I think and say Jesus is, defines me. I grow daily in knowing, loving and following HIM.

What if there is more?

Way more?

One thing I am learning is that: I don’t know what I don’t know.

Another thing I am learning is that in Walking with Jesus, there is always MORE.

As I was reading the above verses from the book of Matthew a number of things jumped off the page at me.

First, Jesus said some amazing things. Blessed are you Simon Bar-Jonah.” Not because Peter had the right answer. Not because Peter knew that Jesus was the savior of the whole planet. But Jesus said that Peter was blessed ‘for flesh and blood(man) has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven.’ 

Peter was blessed because The Father in heaven revealed who Christ is? Or Peter was blessed because a person didn’t reveal Christ to him, but God did? Or Peter was blessed because he was in the presence of the living God and walking with HIM and realized it? Or Peter had a direct connection to the Father and acted from that?

I don’t know about you, but I am pretty sure I first confessed Christ because someone – a person – told me about HIM. Of course I also believe that the Spirit of God was at work in that choice.

How many times have I just listened to someone else’s interpretation of God’s Word? I AM NOT saying that it is wrong to listen to teaching. Instead I am suggesting that teaching should be my invitation to seek HIM out for myself.

What if I had known to listen to the voice of my Father in heaven and hear from HIM? I am not even sure I thought that was possible. I mean really? HE would talk to me? Really? The God of the universe would take time out of HIS mega-importance to talk to me?

Yes! HE did, HE does and HE will.

I am not saying that I hear an audible voice booming from the heavens. Even in the Bible, God doesn’t always speak that way. Sometimes HE used burning bushes, angels, prophets, wind,  a donkey. HIS voice whispers through creation to all of us. HE speaks in dreams. HE gave us Holy Spirit to constantly converse with us. HE is always speaking.

I have not always been listening.

Jesus says that Peter is blessed for hearing from God. Listening to God instead of man. Choosing to repeat what God said, instead of what man said.

A knowing that comes from hearing the voice of God, as Peter did, is foundational to walking with Jesus.

The verses only get better! Next Jesus says, “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church.”

I really like that Jesus will build His church. Not, ‘Peter now you will build my church.’ Do you think we hear it that way sometimes?

How often do we assume that we are to do God’s part instead of our part? In these verses our part is to hear from our Father in Heaven and His part is to build the church. A little backwards from how we sometimes attack executing our faith?

We also have to look at the word ‘church.’ This word in Greek is ekklesia AND IT IS NOT A BUILDING. It is a group of people, specifically ‘the called out ones.’ It was not a religious or spiritual term. The purpose of an ekklesia was to ‘call people out’ or ‘summon them’ to assemble or to congregate in a public place primarily to deal with civil, political or military matters – not religious matters!* Not how I used to think of the ‘church.’ (Maybe we really can change the world!)

This ekklesia, Jesus said, He will build. And the foundation – the rock – was Peter, a person that heard from heaven.

And the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.This is the comfort and protection and peace that I walk in daily. These are Jesus’s words. The word.

The gates of hell cannot prevail against a people, called out by Jesus, that hear from the Father in heaven.

A Prayer to hear God’s Voice:

Father God, I long to hear your voice. Please speak to me. Teach me your ways. Reveal to me who YOU are.

Now, listen. God longs for you!

*ReOrient, Kevin Weaver, pp187

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Faith, Hope and Love

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.(1 Corinthians 13:13)

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

Love one another. Love covers a multitude of sins. God is love. Love God and Love People.

Love is a verb. Love is an action. LOVE IS A CHOICE not a feeling (but it can feel great)!

Love. Keep your LOVE ON!

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(Mixed Media – plaster on gesso board. Acrylic, gesso, coffee, stabilo pencil and antique hymnal collage element)

Does Man Need To Forgive God?

Warning: this blog post might offend you.

I am okay with that.

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Lately I’ve heard a number of people say that they have forgiven God, need to forgive God or regularly forgive God so as not to carry offense.

I don’t understand this.

I don’t think it’s even Biblical.

Yet it is through the Christian ‘church’ communities or inner healing ministries that I frequently hear this claim. Or hear someone asking others if they have or need to forgive God.

I challenge this.

Of the roughly 130 times forgive, forgiveness, forgave, forgives or forgiving are mentioned in the Bible guess how many refer to forgiving God?

Zero. Yep that’s right. ZERO.

The Word tells us that He (the LORD) has forgiven us, forgives us and forgave us. That He is forgiving. The Word tells us to forgive and we will be forgiven, to forgive everyone that sins against us, to forgive as the LORD has forgiven us.

So where has this come from? This need to forgive God?

Pop psychology? Entitlement? Wrong teaching? The enemy? Victim mentalities? Poverty Mindsets? Ignorance? Innocence? Misguided view of God the Father?

When we have a need to forgive anyone – anything, can we agree it is because we feel wronged in some way or form?

I don’t argue that forgiveness is for us. It frees us! When we no longer carry offense our hearts have so much more capacity for love!

Honestly, sometimes we are truly wronged by others. People kill people. People hurt feelings, say mean things, abuse others, hurt themselves, leave us, don’t agree with us, try to control us…you know because you are human. It’s happened to all of us. And we have all caused hurt.

John 10:10 is one of my favorite verses. It is Jesus talking in the midst of Pharisees throwing a healed blind man out of the Synagogue. Jesus tells a story about a good shepherd, his sheep, a watchman, a gate, robbers and thieves (Matthew 10:01-10:21).

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10).

I usually hear these two parts of this sentence taught out of context and often without one or the other part. Either a teaching on abundant life or spiritual warfare.

Jesus made these statements in ONE sentence. To teach one without the other is irresponsible.

Jesus gives us this sentence so we can look at what is happening in a situation, discern whether it is life giving or not and KNOW where it originated from.  Is what is happening a reflection of full life – abundant life? Then it is from Jesus. OR is something being stolen (not just ‘stuff’ but also joy, hope, life), is death happening or is destruction at hand? Then it is from the enemy.

Why do we blame God when things go wrong, when disasters happen, when people die? When people don’t do what we want them to? When things don’t go our way?

We have an enemy. Yes, Jesus defeated the enemy – but we are on that same journey and have the same opportunity (in fact responsibility) to defeat the enemy. Daily we get to choose life or death.

We cannot overlook ourselves in this equation of forgiveness. It is not always other people or the enemy that have wronged us. Sometimes it’s ourselves. Do we place wrong expectations on other people? Do we believe that we deserve certain things, responses or actions from others because of who we are or what we have done?

When we need to forgive someone we have looked at three possible origins: other people, the enemy and ourselves.

To wrap this up:

The Bible makes some strong and amazing claims about who God is. His characteristics include: Divine, Incomprehensible, Sovereign, Omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent, Holy, Infinite, Eternal, Goodness, Grace, Mercy, Love, Just, Faithful and Wise (obviously this is not a complete list).

God is light. In HIM there is NO darkness AT ALL.

Seriously? You believe the God of the Universe, Creator of Everything, Manifest Holy Goodness, Father of Light, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, Lover of your Soul, who died on a cross because HE LOVES you that much –

Owes you?

HE wronged you? HE didn’t give you your way? HE didn’t give you what you wanted?

You forgive HIM?

Really?

I’m going to step into firing range here and suggest YOU ask HIM for forgiveness for blaming HIM. Something like this:

Papa, please forgive me for thinking that I should forgive you. Forgive me for holding you responsible for my expectations, for placing blame on you. Father God – show me the truth, give me spiritual eyes to see what is going on here. Teach me about true forgiveness. Reveal to me any areas you are working on in me or that I need to think differently about. Help me move past needing to know why something happened or happens. Help me love you better. I give you permission and access to heal my broken places. Jesus cover me again with your loving kindness. I love you. Amen.

HE is so good. HE can’t wait to meet you here, wrap you in HIS loving arms and walk this out with you: HIS beloved son or daughter.

New Years Eve with Post Its!

DSC00699It’s New Year’s Day 2013.

I am standing in my home hallway. The presence of God is here – thick.

I am tearful, joyful, thankful, heart light, heart broken and so filled up!

You see, last night we had a different kind of New Year’s Eve Party.

We invited friends and family to share what God has done in their lives on post it notes. These notes hang in my hallway, a testimony of our Loving and Good God!

And I am wrecked as I read them!DSC00724

Marriages Restored.

Families Celebrated.

Cancer has been healed.

Nature Extolled.

Relationships Renewed.

Hopes fulfilled.

Healthy Lives Happening.

Loved Ones in Heaven.

Simple Pleasures Rejoiced.

Hearts Mended.

Provision Made.

Praise & More Praise to our Creator

Hope Filled Expectations for 2013

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I wish you could have been here! I wish you could be here now!

I don’t know if I’ll ever take the post it notes down – they just may be here the next time you come over!

Celebrating Jesus with loved ones, praying to our Papa God and feeling the Holy Spirit move through our home is an incredible gift!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. “His love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:1)

We LOVE you LORD!

May your New Year be filled with the goodness and LOVE of God!

Blessings and Much Love From My Family to Yours!

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