The deep clenching painful chest emptiness that sneaks up and invites tears. A physical pain that feels like it could swallow me whole. I don’t know where this comes from or when it will appear. I just know it will.
Yet the freedom of allowing the pain surprisingly leads to release. As I embrace the ache and invite the sting of tears, I am lead out of the abyss.
This grief has been with me, maybe always. It is a deep and soulful cry for all that has been lost and all that is yet to be.
I don’t think this cavernous void will be filled in my lifetime.
My soul seeks heaven in the midst of this beautiful, messy, imperfect life.
By believing in the miraculous, wonder-full and joy-filled now and cradling the inexplicable heartache that seems to always linger beneath the surface, I am whole and present.
The peace, joy and knowing that there is more, a deeper truer story that I walk in, is my walk with Jesus.
barb nicholson 